By Js Kendrick.
(may contain Bad Words)
“So I’m thinking of starting a blog.” I said to my wife as we were driving to a family reunion.
“What’s a blog?” She asked me. I give her that look. It’s 2017, and you don’t know what a blog is? She did, just didn’t know that’s what they were called.
“Um, kind of like a little article. They can be about anything, you see them and read them on Facebook all the time.” I said.
“What’s it going to be about?” She asked.
You know? I didn’t have a good answer for that. I had ideas, lots of ideas. A virtual cornucopia of ideas. So I opted for the best answer.
“Not sure yet, but you can make money at it.” I said with a nod. Saying you can make money at something makes my wife more agreeable to my zany ideas.
Oh the average for a blog to make money is after 2.5 years of blogging…if you are lucky. Money was not my motivation.
“Um, okay.” was her answer. Now the onus was on me. What the hell was I going to write about?
So why blog? For me it is simple actually. I’m a wannabee writer. I write short stories and novels. Mostly by pen and paper. Pen and paper are out of necessity, since I write at work and my work environment isn’t tech friendly. I do actually work, but I have hours of sitting in a truck doing…nothing. So I write. A lot. I think I have chewed up a forest by now with my writing. Then I edit and transcribe them onto my laptop, where they sit. Because putting your work out is unbelievably F’ing scary.
Oh and my writing is crap. I have been told otherwise, but it’s crap. Just ask me.
“Hey Jon, how’s your writing?”
“Good to hear! keep up the good work!”
So, what do I blog about? Well what am I good at? Yeah a lot of things. I’m pretty sure you are good at a plethora of things too. But to write about? To put out for everyone to see? Makes a person a little weak in the knees.
Then on vacation with my older siblings I came across my muse. Neither my brother, 60, nor my sister, 70, had been around little kids for a while. They had assumed that those children they had raised, who gave them grandchildren (and they’ve mostly graduated from High School) was “hanging around children”. No, of course not, not even close to the same.
My siblings fell into the Kid Zone. Where my 9-year-old who is autistic, and my 6-year-old who defines the definition of ‘boy’ ran amok. Not to mention my three grandsons who came to visit. It was a tad overwhelming so to speak.
I don’t think I drove them completely crazy, we still want to have another get together within the next couple of years, but yeah, they got kid zoned bad. And then my muse talked to me via my brother.
“Well you love kids, you’ve always loved kids. You’re good with kids and you are a great father.” He said. Okay, okay, okay and maybe. Not sure if I am a great father. What in the hell is a great father? I had a great father, he was also a jerk sometimes. But yeah, I like being a parent. ‘Great’ is a very subjective word.
So that became my muse. Fatherhood. Something every says I am good at. Unless they are mad at me, then they hate my guts. When your oldest child is mad at you and says:
“I wish you and your whole family would die!” (quote from Jenelle, circa 2003)
You have to start questioning your parental skills. I handled it well. Didn’t point out that she was part of my family (so technically she wished for her own death), didn’t yell back. Just asked her if she meant my mother too. Jenelle who loved my mother dearly, soften up her anger a bit. But…she was still mad at me. I think I told her ‘No’ or something to that effect.
Having kids in my life for the last 25 years has been interesting. Most people my age are enjoying their grandkids, spoiling them, and sending them home with candy hidden in their pockets. Just for a late night snack!
But that’s not my life. Kids are my life. I will be stuck with kids…forever. No, really, just because they grow up and move out doesn’t mean you’re done. You need to read the fine print when you sign the birth certificate, it’s a life long committment.
Choosing a topic to blog about is very tricky. I’m not an expert at being a parent! I still learn every day. The issues and problems that arose with my millennials are not the same with my nexters. There is a generational gap I have to deal with. Somethings however, never change, when it comes to children.
So I wrote my first blog, it was, in a word, crap. I hate it, but won’t delete it. Oh I did delete my very first one but that was because I hit the wrong button! And that is another issue I have. I’m an idiot here. I can’t even call myself a newbie, because newbies know more. A good friend who designs websites told me to call with any questions. I don’t know enough to ask a good question. For me it’s a steep learning curve.
When I went to publish my first blog, I was a nervous wreck. I clicked on publish, and my hand was shaking. What in the heck have I gotten myself into? Now I have to write! Excuses? Can’t use any. Although I did cut my finger today and it hurts every time I use it, but still, I can’t just ‘do it later’ or wait until Mercury is in retrograde.
You know what happened? Not a damn thing. I don’t believe I had one person look at it the first week out. Of course, I don’t believed I tag it either.
Yeah I need a tag reminder.
But I did it again, tad more confident. And again, and again. Oh, this is my tenth blog. And you know what? I have 9 followers on WordPress and 38 followers on Facebook. And…
Thank You! I really appreciate it!
Because for me, writing and blogging is like Fatherhood. It’s fucking scary folks. But it needs to be done. If you want to learn, to grow, to better yourself and those around you. Well you have to tell fear to kiss your butt, and give it your best shot.